Where can i find happiness?

I've always been asking myself where and when can i find happiness. I'm trying to recall when is the moment when i'm the happiest and i should say around the age of 17-21 ? when i still have my wonderful friends and when i had a bf , in our honeymoons...every thing is just so right and that's the happiest i can remember.

Certainly, i can never find back that kinda happiness again. I had so called lost my friends and perhaps love... there are some things that keep going through my mind and no one knows abt it. Some things that i feel hurt about but no one knows..there's no point telling or wadever, accept it and regret. Blame no one but myself..

I really wants and wish to be alone at times, wish that i should live by my own but i know i'm not that independant. I still want my friends, love, care, hugs, kisses, want to get married and have kids..but....the future ahead of me seems so so invisibe.

How can i be so unhappy at this age of 24...i should be a happy lady. I tell myself, no matter if i lost that friendship, lost that love, definitely it hurts but i gotta be brave and live with it. Isn't this what i've been going through...